& 2 years ago today
2005-01-01, 3:02 p.m.

Two years ago today I met up with "The Stallion" from a bar after I phoned him in a semi unsober state. Tipsy, but not drunk.

I'm so glad I don't drink anymore. I hate the way it makes me feel.. Anyway, on with the story, right?

I was at a local kareoke bar in town with Lois, and some of her friends. Ben, of course at that time was rooming with Lois, and whatever else. They came and picked me up, and we went to the bar and had a few drinks. Me one or two maybe three or four, I think. Lois.. well, she had dozens. By 11:30 I called Steve on the phone and asked him if I could go over to his place, and he said yes, of course. Said something about not being able to turn away an offer of seeing a hot red head on New Years. So, I had Lois give me a ride to his place. Said my goodbyes and got out and let myself in (as per instructed because he was going to be taking a shower)

Well, as I entered his house, and had my back turned to lock the door, he came up behind me and tackled me at the door, naked. (In all of his handsome glory *giggles*)
He had his hands just about everywhere. Driving me crazy, but I prevailed and told him to let me into the kitchen at least.
I stood in front of the kitchen sink and watched him curiously out of the corner fo my eyes as he walked over to his cupboard and pulled ot two glasses, filling them each with ice. He filled his with Jack Daniels (ick) and mine with Rum and Coke. He drank half of his, as I drank none of mine.

As he stood in front of me, he leaned in closer to me and began to run his finger down the side of my neck towards my breast, taunting and teasing me.
Then he did that thing he was so good at, he looked deep in my eyes and just make my heart go crazy. Leaning in to kiss me, he placed his hand in my hair, pulling me closer to him as he deepened our kiss. I don't even know how long that kiss lasted, I just remember I could barely breathe afterwards.

When our kiss ended he stepped back and looked at me and said "Mmm mmm-mmm..." and licked his lips amd smiled. Then he asked me to pick a shirt for him out of his closet and place it in the dryer, which I did.
As I was leaning against his dryer waiting for his clothes to be mysteriously wrinkle-free, he attacked me again.
Placing his hands on my ass then on my breast, he teased and taunted me even more as he began to bite on the back and side of my neck.
Next thing I knew I was half-delirious with want, and he slipped his hand inside of my dress pants, and proceeded to do the naughty. The waves of euphoria that came over me can't be described. He was awesome at getting his way with me.

Then we went and sat on his sofa in his living room and talked. More like he talked while I listened and ran my fingernails over the back of his neck, and shoulders and arms. Touching his face, tracing my fingers overhis lips. I believe his said I was a devious angel with decptive eyes. He knew how to make me feel too much, and not know hwo to control it. I guess in a lot of ways I never wanted to.

He leaned in really close to me and looked into my eyes and told me how my eyes were almost hypnotizing..."those eyes" he said as he leaned in to kiss me again. We had another make-out session on his sofa before he asked me if I wanted to go upstairs with him, to take a shower.
I think my heart plummeted to my feet. God that body of his still gets me.

He took my hand and walked with me upstairs to the landing by the window outlooking his neighbors back yard, and pinned me up against the window and did it again. By this time I could barely stand.

But we made it to the bathroom. I leaned against the bathroom door and watched as he came closer to me and removed my shirt. The things that followed afterwards was just... amazing.
Standing under a stream of water, spilling over my chest as he began to do that thing he did wehn he touched me...
the next thing I knew I was in the far corner of the shower with my legs on the side of the tub, with him below me. Hands roaming here and there, the light touch of his tongue and his mouth touching the inner most sensitive area of my being. I was in seventh heaven.

Then I was on my back on the floor of the shower with my legs wrapped around his body, as he thrusted himself deeper into me.
And we stayed that way until the water started to get cold.

We climbed out of the shower, toweled off what part of our bodies as we allowed ourseleves to towel off and stepped out into the hallway.
He pushed me up against the wall and lifted me up higher as he wrapped my legs around him as he continued to have his way with me. I don't even know how long this all took place. I remember blacking out from too many orgasms, and woke up on his waterbed.

As I fluttered my eyes open I looked down at him as he was having his way with my breasts, again.
The soft touch of his hands on my heated skin, along with the hot touch of his pierced tongue drove me over the edge again.
Somewhere between I was divided between want and need, and images of someone I never expected to creep inside of me. And with each touch of his hand I felt only her.

And when I looked in his eyes, I saw only her. My body was on fire and I was aching to be sated.
With my arms strecthed out beside me, my finger gripped the egde of his waterbed until I managed to scrap the leather off the sides and left scratch marks along the sides of his bed.

Drenched in sweat we did things to each other, things I never knew I was capable of.
Finding myself with my body on the edge of the bed with him so deep inside of me, my body was aching, but I begged for more as he began to scrap his fingernails along my back leaning in over me biting my back,, nipping my skin between his teeth. I found a silent resolution in me with being quietly dominated.

Being dominated brought out even more in me, but I hid it so he wouldn't know. But God, how I wanted more and more, over and over.

After the many tumbles across the bed sheets with our bodies entwined together, sweat pouring from our bodies, I felt guilty because I felt a deeper desire for her. And its been there ever since.

Do I think about her, and him? Yes, constantly.

Knowing I wanted what I couldn't have, I searched for solace in him, and always got it.
Does that make me a whore?

I wonder. But don't say a word.

2 years ago today, I had fallen and didn't think twice about it. I gave her my heart, but never all of me.
Bleh.

Happy New Years love.

And too everyone else as well.

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